Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
