so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
