SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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