Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
