Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
