Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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