I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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