haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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