i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
