Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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