My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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