But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
