just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
