If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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