I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
