weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
