I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
