my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
one might say we're banned from that church
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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