Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym

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(863): View more from Florida

Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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(647): View more from Ontario

We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.

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(562): View more from California

I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.

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