Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm bleeding and have questions
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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