he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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