The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
