If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
