idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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