you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
