I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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