They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
