Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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