Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
