Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think i got beer on your cat.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
