Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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