***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
