So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
