I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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