i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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