After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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