The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize