he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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