please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
