I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
