so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
