He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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