I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
