theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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