Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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