I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
