And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
