The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
