North Korea, Best Korea!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
