is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
