so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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