i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
