ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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