eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
