So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
