next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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