I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
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I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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