Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
